Sister Wives

I have been following the Sister Wives tv program on TLC.  At first, I probably felt similar to a lot of people - a snap judgement about people I don't even know.  As I followed their family story throughout the first season, I grew to really like the family.

I just finished watching the episode where they were forced to move from their family home, friends and everything they knew and loved because of their lifestyle choice.  A choice that wasn't hurting anyone, wasn't challenging anyone, it was just a choice that happened to be, in their state, illegal.

What was this choice?  Polygamy.  I'm sure most people immediately associate polygamy with this man.  Which is unfortunate and, completely incorrect.  The Sister Wives family, a polygamist family of a man named Kody Brown and his legal wife Meri Brown and his other wives, also known as "sister wives", Janelle, Robyn and Christine, all of whom he "married" in private ceremonies.  I put "married" in quotation marks, not out of disrespect, but to show that this family was not trying to defraud anyone but were trying to do the right thing by showing that each relationship is serious and meaningful.  It is not a harem where there is one all powerful man who is served by a number of subservient, beaten-down women.  It is a plural marriage where a group of women have adopted one another as sisters, raising their children together, depending on one another, sharing a household, child-rearing, finances, domestic duties and....a single man.  Only Meri is legally married to Kody, but Kody is the biological father of all of the children, ranging in ages from under 1 year old to 16 years.

At first, Kody seems like a goofy man who doesn't put a lot of thought into anything but being on TV, driving a sports car and sleeping in a different woman's bed every couple of nights.  But as you get to know him (as much as you can know someone from a TV program), you realize he is a very thoughtful, deeply religious, kind man and a very good father who genuinely loves and cares for his children and his wives.  The kids are each obviously very loved and know that, well-mannered, playful, healthy and seem so happy.  The wives seem like typical women who definitely have a say in what is going on in their lives, feel free to express their opinions and are in no way oppressed by their lifestyle or husband.

I felt really sad watching this wonderful family go through such harsh treatment from narrow-minded people.  I could see the pain in all of their eyes and feel the fear and sadness they must have been feeling as they were forced to flee their home without even finishing to pack.  But the love, compassion and sense of family they have instilled in their children was something they should be very proud of.

I doubt this family will ever read my little blog and couldn't care less about the opinion of a woman from the midwest in a monogamous marriage with only 6 children.  But I just want to be another voice out there that is saying that I wish only the best for them and we would be honored to have them as neighbors and friends - I hope they are able to settle into their new lives and find lots of friends and a community that welcomes them with open arms.  Different doesn't mean wrong, evil, or bad.  It just means different and maybe more people should embrace each others differences instead of finding ways to use those differences to tear each other down.  That is what the God I worship teaches and it's just possible, that's not a bad thing.